Saturday 04 January 2014

I purchased six crackers in the box of crackers for the flat on Christmas Eve that we finished on New Year’s Day.. The back of the box showed the potential prizes that could be found in each of the six crackers.

Between my partner and I we decided the ones we would want would be collapsable ruler (me) or sewing kit (her). Admittedly this is despite there being no reason at all for either of us wanting the desired item (prize). I have both rulers and tape measures and she has proper sewing things. The heart wants what the heart wants eh?

The (unsurprising) truth is that none of the items would enrich either of our lives. I am not: an alcoholic who visits a dominoless pub; lacking a bookmark; not not an owner of about five sets of nail clippers; without 108 pens; in need of a bottle opener that doesn’t work, looking for a lipstick case (could also a bread bin for small bread), someone who needs a bookmark that looks like the Chicago Bears logo*, a small-faced vain person (I am a large faced vain person); or someone desperate to measure things but with limited storage length for measuring devices.

But the collapsable ruler and the sewing kit…they were the ones we needed the least least (most). It’s all comparative. But isn’t everything? Does Africa need aid?

You know the ones we didn’t get don’t you? Now we can’t measure anything (other than with the tape measures and rulers I have – but I can’t fold them. Well I can fold my tape measure but it just makes more sense to coil it on itself), can’t make minor clothing repairs/alterations (apart from with the extensive sewing box) or play dominos.

I can’t believe I have written such a self-pitying entry when I now have a spare spare spare nail clipper. Sorry.


*I actually do need that.

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