Friday 29 November 2013

How do you repair an umbrella? Not getting much help from the internet on this.

There are matched for “are there specialist umbrella repairers?” or “Umbrella repairs Manchester” but none have been much help. One helpful reply to someone’s posting of the question stated was that no-one needs an umbrella repaired because they aren’t that expensive. Well, someone posting a question such as that clearly wants it. I also want it. So, he or she is fucking wrong. The dick.

What the fuck has it got to do with them what I paid for my umbrella? I don’t mind admitting it wasn’t cheap and I’d rather not throw it away because one of the spokes has broken thank you very much. And it would be cheaper for me to pay some pounds to repair it rather than replace it. Especially as I’ve looked for a replacement and I can’t find one. This is the nearest thing to it. (No, I didn’t pay that much for my similar umbrella – but it wasn’t £3 either.)

To be fair to the guy on the internet (not many people must write that sentence) I bet there isn’t much demand for umbrella repairs.

These are troubling times when a man is forced to question the need for an umbrella repair shop on every corner; Is this what our once proud nation has come to? Did Wellington want for an umbrella repair business? Did Brunel have to throw an umbrella away because he couldn’t get it fixed? Did Churchill…ok, we get the picture: I am suggesting great people in British history were able to get umbrellas repaired – and by extension that this is (perhaps) why they were great.

And that suggestion is, without doubt, utter bollocks.

Seriously though, if anyone knows a good umbrella repairer – please drop me a line.

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