Wednesday 20 February 2013

Are my feet the new Kate Middleton?

We love Kate Middleton.
Kate Middleton is a fucking idiot.
How dare someone invade Kate Middleton’s privacy.
Kate Middleton made the press respect her so much that a woman killed herself because of the respect some people didn’t have for her.

Now my feet know how Kate Middleton feels. What fucking shoe size am I? My feet are to shoe sizes as is Kate Middleton to the consensus of editorial comment/social commenters. They don’t know where they lie. Actually my feet are more like a harsh version of Goldilocks

And what kind of place is TK Maxx to shop for shoes when you have insecurities about shoes fitting you? Admittedly it’s hardly comparable to carving hate words into my forearm with a rusty pencil but it is punishment of the self – no doubt. SIZE 7s in the Size 9s!?!??! Anyone? Size 7s in the Size 8s section? SIZE TENS in the Size eights. I could go on – not for long admittedly but I could list three other shoe sizes in the wrong shoe size section that I saw (example, for the doubting Thomases: Size 10 in Size 9s).

Roadkill

There’s a road at the top of Market Street in Manchester that people are forever crossing when they are being told not to. It’s a narrow road so the short distance IS appealing to traverse when you are in a bit of a rush. However people do it without really looking. And the  cars that come down it don’t tip-toe. They are often taxis – so driven by the insane or cunts. Or insane cunts.

What is it with people whose next few minutes are that important to them they will risk the entire remains of their existence? And it generally isn’t a rush to get a bus or get back to work. It is generally that they are fucking impatient. I don’t wish death on anyone* but these people could maybe do with a serious crippling.

*lie

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