Tuesday 20 November 2012

Better if the Synod Not Heard*

Quick shout out to The Church of England who nearly managed to get some equality at the rank of Bishop today. Though I am a big fan of democracy – and indeed that act of putting a cross on some paper and posting it in a slot – I don’t even think things like this should be put to the vote. Sure, my opinion that the right to equality for all genders/races/sexualities is not an opinion is just an opinion. It’s like to get past the fucked up old systems where there was no equality you have to get past the people who have had the misguided values ingrained in them.

Of course lots of people who practice this particular sect of monotheism whose values aren’t based in..well, biblical times..but they just have to do what they are told until everyone who thinks otherwise dies.

*Not really happy with this, but there is a great pun in there somewhere.

Virgin Air

I did something today that I have never done before. Do you want to guess what it was?

No, of course you don’t. And no-one does. Why am I always getting people to guess what I have done/bought? I am afraid I labour under the misapprehension that some people find this interesting, fun even. Do I honestly think two colleagues had fun yesterday by asking some questions to get to the point where they could say with some degree of confidence that on Sunday I had bought the Harry Potter box-set¹.

Hopefully you’ll have been wondering what it was that I did for the first time today. But not guessing. People prefer wondering to guessing. It must definitely be the case because when I throw a conversation teaser² out there people don’t respond. In fact they look away – they are clearly wondering. No-one says anything. Hence: wondering>>guessing.

It’s doing on-line check-in. That’s what I did for the first time. You can stop wondering. To clarify – isn’t clarification interesting? – I have been checked-in on-line before, I have just never done the doing of a checking-in (on-line) before. And I moved which seat I was assigned. Just because I could. And a little bit to move myself to the back of the plane where you’re less likely to die. Someone said that it didn’t make a difference. But it does. Not all accidents involving planes involve the total destruction of an aeroplane.

I feel so empowered.

¹The films. And that’s fucking bad enough. I am 34 and I bought myself the Harry Potter films as a pre-Christmas treat. 34, Harry Potter. Jesus wasn’t buying himself Harry Potter box-sets at 34. He was fucking dead – but he had done so for all our sins. And what have I bought the Harry Potter films for? Not even my own sins – just to have a series of films to watch on the build-up to Christmas. Jesus 1 Me 0.
²”I’m looking forward to tonight” or “I can’t believe I’ve gone and bought it” [said loudly]

People Smearing Shit on Other People Is A Thing Now

Greater Manchester Police Appeal to identify someone who wiped shit on some other people.

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