Wednesday 21 November 2012

I have a slightly poor reputation when it comes to be ready to go places. It’s one of those well deserved reputations. Like Michael Jackson’s as The King of Pop in the 80s. Or Michael Jackson’s as a weirdo in the 90s. However, I don’t release consecutive brilliant and successful music albums – or pay off the family of each young boy who tells the police that a grown man sleeps in bed with them (possibly – but not definitely – touching their winky). No, I just am often not ready when people pick me up to go places.

When it involves work I am normally better. I can’t think of many times I have messed up being somewhere when it involves work. I nearly did this morning. I did the ‘alarm off’ thing instead of the snooze thing when my alarm went off at half-past-five. Then I woke up at twenty past six. And shouted “fuck” as I looked at the alarm clock. I then misunderstood MJEA say I could still make my flight to London¹. I heard “I will give you a lift to the Airport” when she said I could still make the flight. So after I’d jumped in the shower and got dressed I wondered why she was still lay in bed. Happily she is not one to punish me for assuming things and she did give me a lift. Many might say that, in fact, rewarded my assumption and add that I will never learn.

Even without having to wait for a taxi I didn’t think I would make the flight. I was running through my alternative illnesses to phone in work with. But I got to the Airport with ten minutes left until the gate closed. I had already done the check-in. So I just had to get through Security. I suppose I was in a bit of a rush but I am not one to panic. Or stop to do frustratingly slow, time-consuming things when time is pressing. Rather than just accept that I had not packed my wash bag I went through my bag looking for it. My wash bag is the same size as most wash bags. The bag it should have been in is a quite small – look it’s not big by back-pack standards – so quite where I thought the wash bag would be, when it clearly wasn’t in the bag, I don’t know. Perhaps it was behind the pair of socks? Worth double-checking.

Then after I got through – still with a couple of minutes to go – I realised I didn’t have my watch. It’s not an expensive watch. Not worth missing £150 flight over, which would make me miss a course that my employers probably paid a lot for. And the £120 hotel room already paid for. And the flight back was more expensive because it was a flexible one. It would be daft risking all that for a £19 watch. So, I turned around at walked back to Security and waited patiently for one of the attendant’s to notice me so I could ask them about my watch. Then I realised I was being stupid and that I was going to miss the flight that my girlfriend had got out of bed to drive me to; that was going to waste a lot of my employer’s money; and that I had ran through the Airport to get. But the man was looking for my watch at the other side of the Security desk and I didn’t want to just walk off. How classically English. Fortunately he came over so I was able to tell him I had to go and I ran off and got to the gate 12 seconds before it closed.

I loved that bloody watch.

It was all worth it though as the first day (well actually it was the fourth day of the whole thing, pedants) was a bit of a wash-out and it served to just wind me up. AND THEN someone had invited themselves along to eat with the group. It was just announced to us by whoever had invited them. I hate stuff like that. Clearly I wouldn’t have kicked up a fuss if we had been asked if it was OK for someone to join us. I would have been less annoyed about it though. Who are these people who thing things like that aren’t important and that everyone is fine with people joining groups to eat? I mean, clearly, these people are almost everyone because most people aren’t petty little fuckweasels like me but. You know. Still. Totes Unacceptaballs.

¹First mention of where I was going this, should probably have come earlier in retrospect. Being late for a flight is clearly a bigger thing than being three minutes late for a meeting or missing a bus.

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