Sunday 26 August 2012

I don’t know about anyone else, but left to my own devices it’s bordering on a complete certainty that I will complete the sin of onanism. Sometimes there is no pent up lust or sexual craving being fulfilled, sometimes I do it with a severe hangover when the very act of doing it makes me almost cry with pain.

So, being left on my own for a couple of days was always going to result in some semen being expelled from my fleshy length after a series of frictional molestations of said member. And I didn’t let myself down, unlike countless women over the years*.

What is even going on here? I am researching a character for a  book. And when I say character for a book, I could only mean my autobiography because no work of fiction would contain anything as pointless as me. And the possibility of an autobiography of someone this pointless would be THE ANTI-BIBLE, justification for nothing; inspiration to no-one; a set of nothings to live nothing by. So, yes: I am researching my own existence by watching pornography.

I don’t know where along the lines I started using visual stimulus. I certainly don’t need it – solid as a rock whenever I like as long (as it’s just for me) – so I don’t know when I meandered into being someone who watched other people have sex while I committed sex with myself. Or ***really don’t click on this link if you’re at work** having sex with themselves**.

What’s the point over-analysing it, though? I like naked women and manipulating my own body to orgasm. Crucify me. As far as streaming online sexual imagery goes you can’t go wrong with You Jizz or Porn Hub…..why am I writing a blog about cock-wanking? Well I’m not. But I had a momentary observation while looking at sex films on Porn Hub – and you really need to give an observation some context.

The videos (on Porn Hub) now have a Twitter button, you know one of them things you click on to tweet about the thing you are reading/watching/listening to. Now, I’m not someone ashamed of his actions, but why would you share these videos? – he says in the middle of a blog that kind of signposts he has no shame. But I mean on Twitter, maybe you might email someone who also likes pornography and say “I saw KINKY KERI SABLE GETS A HARD ANAL POUNDING on Porn Hub and thought you might like it etc”

To tweet it? It seems a bit weird to me. If links to porn videos started appearing on someone’s timeline I would probably stop following them. Not that I think I am better than pornography (I am), just that I can find it for myself. And the thought of someone liking a 20-minute shagvid so much that he puts it on a social network is just a bit weird.

This is one of them blogs I hope my mum doesn’t read.

*That includes lots of versions of letting women down – being poor at my job etc. If I were just to limit that to the number of women who thought they were going to receive any enjoyment from intercourse and were disappointed by my efforts then the number wouldn’t be countless – because women don’t want sex with me, not because I lost count of how many women I’ve left satisfied.
**See she’s really, really pretty with really handsome mammary glands. So, watching her take her clothes off and masturbate was really something I couldn’t motivate myself to do. I wasn’t even put off by the slapping of her own tits quite aggressively; probably says a lot about how beautiful she is that I didn’t stop watching while she struck herself, even though that is not really my bag….me striking someone else’s tits is a different kettle of fish, but that’s for another day.

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