Sunday 16 June 2013

Three things that seemed important to me today.

1. Finding my name on a bottle of Coca-Cola

The ‘Share A Coke’ marketing campaign could not be working its nefarious ways any better on yours truly. As much as I would like not to gain a sense of self worth from seeing my name written on a 500ml bottle of a soft drink (sorry Coke – I know you are more than that); I can’t  help but feel devalued when I scour the shelves in a supermarket and see Toni, Lynsey (I didn’t even know that was a name) and Katarzyna (yeah, you didn’t think I would use a non-UK name did you? Well I went there. Stayed safe and sound with Polish, though) staring back at me.

I find myself lovely at times. Waiting several weeks of this torment before looking if there was a list of available names was something I thought particularly lovely of me. And my looking has not been in vain! Other than the literal rewardless nature of it making it be in vain, in that sense. Oh yes, there are Phils out there, there are some Phils.

Marketing 1 Me 0

2.  Buying Live Free or Die Hard 5.0 Another Day Harder

Die Hard 4.0 upset me a little bit. Not a lot. It was quite bad though, Die Hard films should not be about someone throwing a motorbike at a helicopter or surfing on the wing of a fighter jet. Die Hard films are about a man bitching to himself in air conditioning vents (and shooting Germans).

Everyone deserves a second chance. But John McClane hurt me real bad with Die Hard 4.0 and just as I was working through that I saw the trailer for A Good Day to Die Hard and I knew that it could never be the same again. And at that point I thought a film trailer had accomplished the exact opposite of its purpose: it made me certain I did not want to see the film it was advertising.

Today, though, I went in a supermarket while hungover so was liable to buy anything. For example I purchased some magnetic paper to print photographs on before wandering into the audio-visual aisles. But, yeah, I put a £16 blu ray that will remove a portion of the respect I have for my favourite action franchise.

Sentimentality 1 Me 0 (Marketing team for ADTDH claim the win because they DID MAKE a trailer for something that someone bought, ergo they deserve the credit)

3. I’m my best friend

When I open a new email on my hotmail the 5 email addresses it offers include me – as in my work email address (others include the person I email once a week to say I am playing football). I am quite certain this is based on some kind of basic algorithm therefore statistically I am a sad bastard.

This tells its own story.

Hotmail’s ability to completely remove my self worth 1 Me 0 (Hotmail has a marketing department and therefore will claim credit for this.)

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