Saturday 15 June 2013


You are always going to get people who are annoyed that they do put their hand on a hot surface and are surprised when they get burnt. I haven’t put my hand on a hot surface and burned it and then been surprised by it. No, but I did read the latest Dan Brown book and am now slightly disappointed that I’ve finished it and thought it was shit.

What gives?

Of course I have my long-held superiority complex associated with trying only to criticise things I have given a chance. As such I find myself bound to watching Miranda even though I know I won’t like it (so I can say bad things about it – even though I don’t really say bad things about it because I quite like Miranda, I just don’t like Miranda); reading Dan Brown books so I feel in a position where I can say they are shit – and not being able to comfortably criticise the Sex and The City films because I’d rather die than watch one of them. (That last statement kind of works on a couple of levels. If you haven’t understood it, don’t worry too much about it: some of my stuff is kind of sophisticated.)

Having quite enjoyed the first few Browners (as Dan Brown fans don’t call Dan Brown books) in that trashy, page-turner kind of way the last two have been almost entirely pleasure free activities. Inferno and The Lost Symbol were both fucking terrible. I think I have put the time in to say I’m not reading his next one as it’ll be shit and a waste of my time. What do you think readers? Can I call (what I only imagine will be called) Old Riddle – That’s Confused Many Geniuses for Hundreds of Years – Solved Quickly in Italy by Professor Robert Langdon complete horse shit without reading it?

Answers on a post card.

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