Wednesday 27 February 2013

Cowboy

I just have to assume that most people have day where send a work email to a group of people in the vernacular of a cowboy. Because if it is just me then I’m probably a little bit disturbed.

I quite enjoyed it though. And no-one seemed to reply as though I had appalled them. Mainly because no-one replied, true enough. Let’s not suppose this is all about me speaking cowboy in the email: the people I emailed are all very busy and the thing I was emailing about was not  top priority stuff. And two people who I had to forward on the email to were both enthusiastic about the cowboy speak, one replied in cowboy language and the other said ‘yee-ha!’ Not as convinced it was the cowboy speak are you?

This is the point where I left it. I just replied in normal English – and indeed wrote future messages in standard talk.

I wonder what point someone would have a quiet word with me if I had carried on now. Would someone do it in a nice way? How many emails would it be? What if I started answering the phone to people talking like a cowboy? What if I started talking like a cowboy in a meeting? What if the quiet words didn’t work and I carried it on? Could I have a stance that this was now who I was and they were bullying me? What if I started dressing like a cowboy –  a smart cowboy, not a joke cowboy – for meetings? Wearing a stetson, but taking it off when sitting in a room for business – or bidness as I’d call it. And it’d be rite pritty.

I suppose there is a chance that they would eventually sack me for turning into a cowboy. And when I applied for jobs as a newly unemployed person in the bit where it said ‘reason for leaving post’ I would have to write ‘Because I slowly became a cowboy.’

My Social Network Stalker

This Channel 4 documentary, My Social Network Stalker, was a bit odd. It was about a woman who had indecent pictures of her plastered all over the internet. It was her boyfriend who was doing it. He was clearly derranged – in case you missed out, he was putting naked pictures of his girlfriend all over the internet. That’s clear enough. But he also did a lot of other mental shit – hacking into her MSN accounts and telling people she hated them (in the first person – he was pretending to be her). He also emailed her dad with pictures. He was a fucking lun’.

The one thing that got me about it was that he was the one taking the pictures. After the first few made their way on porn sites/Facebook etc and he blamed all knowledge of it he pretty much forced her to let him take pictures. These pictures also appeared on sites. He was denying any involvement, blaming one of his friends, threatening people…oh and pretending to be her and giving her address to some man on the internet and telling him to go to her house for sex.

She was still a bit surprised when she got it confirmed that it was him. Which was when he admitted it to the police after her dad got some pretty irrevocable evidence. I’m not blaming her at all for this man being a fucking sick bastard. People can put their entire trust in other people when they love them, I know this.It just seemed a bit odd.

The man got a four month sentence for all this. He served two months – the information at the end of the programme told me. It also told me that he cannot contact the family of the woman until 2016. What an odd little thing the law can be. What is 2016? Why have that limit? I imagine it will put a damper on NYE 2015.

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