Friday 15 November 2013

A while ago I was trained on a bit of software at work. The woman who did the training certainly wasn’t without knowledge. But she wasn’t very good at training people, certainly not the standing-at-the front-talking kind of training anyway.

Happily my employers have learned their lesson and she seems to be fronting the training of another wave of training on another new system. I wish a stray bullet would go straight through my brain, I think, as she is talking about the history of America’s TV Guide magazine.

She has a tendency to explain things that don’t need explaining in terms that are not relatable for no reason. That is some mix. Imagine someone explaining to a child how you butter a piece of bread. Now imagine in trying to explain to the child why you use the knife to spread the butter you were talking about the difference between porous and non-porous bricks. You are imagining something that makes 40% more sense than some of the training I was on the end of today.

She also has a habit of starting sentences and giving up on them after a few words, having clearly thought of a better way to say it – that she will improve upon a few words into the rephrase. I estimate that she finishes 40% of the sentences she starts.

Lovely person.

And wasting three hours of my life being trained on something that I could have done in 12 minutes was the highlight of my working day. And I think I had one of the more emotionally satisfying days out of anyone in my department. It’s a very happy place right now.

Something that makes America seem brilliant in an aaaaaaw way.
Something that makes Canada seem like America. [A MAYOR of a large Canadian city bragged to news crews that he has plenty of pussy to eat at home….just think about that for a moment. Boris Johnson isn’t the most ridiculous mayor of a major city.]

Shower update: still no shower. Indeed no-one even came today and made the status of not having a shower any more having-a-shower-y.

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