Friday 09 January 2015

On Christmas day Facebook was like most other days. OK, maybe a little bit warmer and more positive. But still populated with people’s feelings, opinions, pictures with trite captions and then moaning about television.

People used to disappear from social media when they went on holiday. I remember people saying things like “isn’t he meant to be on holiday?” when I’d post something on Facebook – you know when you’re sat on the lobby computer with your €2s worth of internet after wasting most of your money trying to find the @ key on a European keyboard. Fucking Europe! Farage should run with that. Stop them coming over here changing our keyboard layouts.

But now it’s OK. Because enough people did it.

In a roundabout way this is why I predict everyone will own and use a selfie stick, or some approximation by 2017.

I don’t really get why people hate them so much. Do people hate people who use timers on cameras and own a tripod and combine the two? Because I’ve done that and it didn’t seem to provoke any venom. What really is so bad about them? I’ll tell you what: nothing. And that is why eventually people will have them.

Why are selfie sticks so bad but cycling helmets with built-in cameras are OK? It seems to me that these cycling camermets are just an excuse for cyclists to cut in front of a bus, nearly die and then have an argument with the bus driver and put the video on You Tube (because I saw two people do it on one programme once so it’s how I view ALL people who wear them – I am the small minded bigot of the helmera community).

Everyone won’t even be embarrassed when they buy one because they are all fucking hypocrites with no shame.

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