Friday 26 September 2014

There’s a relaxation about having abandoned the blog a day approach. However, it is now all too easy to not bother writing anything out of abject procrastination. Last Sunday I started off a rant about some sexist adverts and I just couldn’t be arsed finishing it. Clearly it would have been of no interest to anyone else if it wasn’t even of interest to me.

Then on Wednesday I just didn’t have the time to write about breakfast for tea. Though it definitely deserved inclusion in this blog.

Issue 1: if you have a full English for tea is it still a breakfast? My partner claimed I was being odd by describing it as a breakfast when eating it at 7.30pm. But a full English breakfast is its full name – as well as being the category of meal that it is.

Breakfasts have much more control over the foods/meals that can/cannot be classed as the meal type because of the time of day. No-one would allow you to call a roast dinner a breakfast. Even if you had it at 7.10 am. On a Thursday. I can’t think of a more quintessential breakfast time.

But this works both ways. Cereal and fry-ups retain breakfastness – even if you have them at 9.22 PM on a Saturday, officially the least breakfast time of the week.

Issue 2: My food rating system & how it prevents a non-runny fried egg based breakfast scoring any higher than a 5/10.

The breakfast-for-tea my partner made for me was delicious. Every element of it was it just how I would like it. Apart from the fried eggs. When I plunged my toast into one of the eggs there was no yolksplosion. It was a solid yolk. Ditto for egg two.

I informed her that this would mean the meal could not score more than five on my rating system. She claimed this was outrageous if the rest of the meal was so good. Well, I operate tiered marking criteria and there is a simple rule of thumb for a breakfast, even if it is breakfast-for-tea, and that is that the rating cannot be above 50% if the egg doesn’t run.

A runny egg is almost the entire reason I have a full breakfast. So it is key to the scoring system. I stand by this.

I don’t even think five is a terrible score. My partner seems affronted by sevens, let alone fives. What am I to do? “Only a 7.2?” she asks? Only a seven-point-two!!!! I am rating something as three-quarters of what would be my idea of a perfect meal and she says ‘only’!!!!!

Some people are never happy.

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