There’s not much that will shock me on Airline US, given the massively formulaic nature of its narratives. But there was someone on an episode I watched today that took being self-important prick to a new level.

This guy was allergic to peanuts to the extent that he classified it as a serious health risk for there to be any peanuts on the plane he was travelling. He made a massive fuss about it when he was offered peanuts and then tried to get the stewardess who offered him peanuts sacked. And then he wanted everyone sacked because they allowed peanuts on a plane on which he might be travelling.

I know what you’re thinking: why hasn’t he referred to Kanye West by name? No, it wasn’t Kanye West throwing money at solving problems that don’t even exist after he’s created them. It was just a normal goober man travelling on a budget airline – who wanted to control what was on the entire plane.

Note to the wise: if you want to control what goes on a plane: ignore the rules, play by the own rules you ignore, write the new rulebook and rule the roost. What am I spelling out? Sir Alan Sugar decides what goes on his plane because he owns it; the terrorists who carried out the 9/11 attacks decided what went on the planes they overthrew; lame men who travel some budget airlines and are so weak they can’t even beat a peanut DON’T control planes.