Saturday 08 March 2014

“Worse than Hitler.” In the context of ANYTHING on an internet forum this could be referring to ANYTHING.

Statistically it is likely to be referring to the humble selfie right now. It’s getting a right old bad press. I’m unashamedly pro-selfie. And I’ll tell you for why: I like pictures of me. In an ideal world these would be taken by someone else and capture me behaving naturally – enigmatic and handsome, like I say: natural.

I don’t have a personal photographer, though. Nor do I attract the level of press coverage that would induce freelance photographers following me around. If I want pictures of me then I am left with one solution – take the fucking pictures myself.

You’re so shallow/vain; don’t you get bored of taking pictures of yourself? I don’t see the point in it.

Why is it that people who ‘don’t see the point in something’ get so annoyed by other people seeing the point in something? Not seeing the point in something and “not understanding something” are close bedfellows with deliberately misrepresenting something and “feigning something is boring because you don’t really understand the basic technology involved in the actions”. See: not wanting to go on Twitter because you don’t want to tell people what you are having for breakfast every day, or saying that iPhones are part of some evil project (of course the brave manufacturers of the Samsung corporation making phones out of naturally dead wood and recycled paper are fine).

Why are you so annoyed that people are taking pictures of themselves? Is part of it the word? I’m so fucking sorry everyone didn’t refer to them as self-portraits for ever. Hey, we’re publishing 45 pictures of ourselves a day – we needed a snappier* phrase.

In a bizarre twist on received logic the famous people, them on the tellies, doing selfies  – and latterly group selfies -seems to have escalated annoyance at the whole thing beyond rational levels. The world needs Beckham to do some nice selfies and everyone will calm down. And Clooney.

What were people expecting to happen with the self-facing camera? Skype? Fuck off.

People have been doing camera-at-arms-length-photos-of-self for years. They were just rubbish and generally contained anything in the rest of the world the camera was facing – other than what was wanted.

The people who should be annoyed at the selfie are the 0.4% of people who could take photos of themselves with a camera at an arm’s length. Their gift has been nullified.

*delicious choice of word eh?


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