Visitors are welcome. Some of the parenting guides have suggested I will not want to hand over my child to visitors. I am fine with it. I am pretty sure they are all not going to hurt the child. For me i t is a chance to relax a little.

Because the people who come to see us (reasonably) have the same questions and I am having a somewhat limited existence the conversations are quite similar. For my part this means I am establishing several bits. Like a stand-up comedian – without being funny – I am refining my anecdotes into a solid eight minutes. Maybe ten at a push.

My best bit is the toothbrushes anecdote. My finish is also showing people a YouTube video. It is a very funny video but it is of someone else being funny.

My solid eight minutes, therefore, is a particularly dull story about me being too weak to say no to some cheap toothbrushes (but dressing it up as an anecdote about how odd the people at the Pound Store are) and playing people a YouTube video of someone else being funny.