Friday 21 February 2014

My new activity is googling different things I am worried about – other than my own health. Does a baby wanting to feed all the time mean anything? Is it normal for a baby to sneeze? How many breaths should a healthy 4-day old make in a minute? Can a baby lie on its side? Can I listen to mediocre hammond-organ-fuelled indie music when there is a baby in the room?

It turns out that no matter how obscure or ridiculous you think you are being for worrying about something to do with a baby that you are the millionth person to have worried about it that week – and most of those have posted on a one of the 6 million forums that exist for people to worry about babies,  mummyington.net,parentingnetinawheelbarrow.net, glaswegianmums.org and the ever useful ferriswheelbreastfeeding.co.uk

As well as the forums there are the so-called medical help sites. Some of these are more helpful than others. However no matter how official and qualified they are they all do the same thing about a lot of things. They tell you that IT”S COMPLETELY NORMAL. So you can STOP PANICKING and enjoy your precious new gift and that it will clear up after a few weeks. And that despite all that has been said in the main text about it all being normal and nothing to worry about that MAYBE YOU SHOULD GO TO THE EMERGENCY ROOM IN CASE IT IS SOMETHING SERIOUS AND YOUR BABY MIGHT HAVE SECONDS TO LIVE.

I guess they have to ensure there are caveats there but…it just makes you focus on the last bit. Well it does if you’re me. Which you’re most likely not. (If you are me, why not drop me an email?We can meet up for a chat about what it’s like.)

I am quite proud that the intensity with which I type my worries into the search bar on Google and then spend hours reading every possible thread on forums about the condition. 

My favourite people are the ones who clearly don’t understand the mental state of people reading through these forums.

We are worried about everything. But not worried enough to be going to hospital. The wellbeing of our small babies are ridiculously important to us and we know that we are worrying over nothing. What we want to be told is that we are right, it is a silly thing to worry about and that every baby does <<something that every baby does>> and it is just something every new parent worries about unnecessarily.

However some people will go on there after 40 people have done the whole “don’t worry it’s nothing” bit and they will say something like, “my baby didn’t have these precise symptoms but we were told not to worry and so we didn’t do something straight away and then my baby’s arms had to be amputated and now she’s blind”.

Also helpful: evangelical christians. I assume this person is American. How small minded of me…

IMG_6045It’s great advice isn’t it? Why doesn’t Dorothy just pray for the boy? Why does the woman have to do it? “Ask that his breathing be what is normal for him” – why? Why doesn’t your God just make the breathing be not a risk?  I also like the different ratings available. EIGHT PEOPLE FOUND THAT HELPFUL. One found it ‘hugs’. My word.

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