Tuesday 07 January 2014

Did I fire six shots or was it only five?

I am sat listening to someone I have known a long time and for whom I have some affection. He used to be my manager and we’ve known each other well for some time.

Sometimes when he is speaking I think about putting a knitting needle through my neck so I don’t have to listen to him a bit. He does talk about things that interest me (football, betting, life) but he sometimes takes a long time explaining things that don’t need to be explained and are irrelevant to the thing he is telling me.

Admittedly it is not helping that I am sober in a bar watching United lost another game. Even if United were 4-0 up against Brazil I think I would be contemplating knitting-needle-neck.

What he is currently trying to tell me is that his non-catholic friends from his student house were surprised at the length of catholic wedding ceremonies. This involves listening to a monologue about whether there were seven people in the house or he shared with seven people and then whether it was two or three or four people who were catholics.

Some basic calculations tell me that I care the same amount if it was six or seven people he shared with – and that is equal to how much I care if two, three or four of them were Catholic. The same amount.

Sorry seems to be the easiest word

Despite the claim of Elton John, and latterly Elton John and Blue, sorry doesn’t appear to be the hardest word for the bar staff at the hotel. For a while it seems all words are equally difficult as I and my two colleagues stand waiting to settle the bill. But eventually, perhaps 15-20 minutes later, we get a sorry. With no explanation. If this wasn’t my company’s money I would have walked off without paying or made a right stinking complaint.

What no-one explained at any stage was that they had lost our order/tab. Thanks to aggressively mediocre service it was not a large tab*. I’d have just asked us what we had and trusted us rather than make us wait 15-20 minutes. At one stage there was four member of staff huddling round coming up with a plan on how to sort the problem. More disturbingly at one stage all four were not trying to sort it at one stage (at the same time).

We accepted the brief and unfeeling apology and said nothing of our dissatisfaction. But none of us apologised for putting them out like this, so we must have been pretty, pretty furious.

*Three meals, 4 glasses of wine and a coke. Oh and my tap water is on there. Why bother having ‘Tap water: £0.00″ on the bill?

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