Thursday 12 December 2013

That Joke Isn’t Funny Anymore

Did you ever do a good joke and wish it could have been in front of more people?

I did quite a good joke this afternoon but it was just in front of two colleagues. And only one good one.

Somehow the subject of saying an embarrassing name had come up; I can’t remember how OTHER people’s stories happened. Read their fucking blogs if you want a piece of them.

I said how one time that I’d called a teacher at my school mum, explaining that it was bad but explained by the fact that we had to call the female teachers m’aam (we did). So, the scenario is that I’ve just said that. I let a few beats pass and then say, “I suppose the fact that we were having sex made it a bit odd.”

Now this made one person laugh who go the joke. And the other person who heard it say something like, “I’m just going to go back to my work.” I’m not sure she’d got the joke to be honest. She thought it was just because I was saying I was having sex – rather than the brilliant reveal of the fact I accidentally called a teacher mum was when we were having sex.

It’s OK. I know it was a good joke, you don’t have to tell me. A joke that good should be in front of lots of people though. At least nine. No matter how good the two people were – and one of them was rubbish – two people isn’t a good enough audience for that joke.

I could just manufacture scenarios where this joke is appropriate for a few weeks until its ran out of steam. That seems a little bit contrived. Mainly because what I would be doing would be the basic definition of a contrived situation.

Conspiracy Theories

The world is getting fuller with ideologies. People who used to just not have ideologies now seem to be developing anti-ideology ideologies.

I’m fed up of being told I’m wrong for doing something. Or that something I do is idiotic and will lead to the end of the world. No you are wrong and everything will lead to the end of the world because THAT’S HOW EXISTENCE WORKS. Things from going to being to not being. At least on the plane of existence I inhabit.

There’s this guy I used to go to school with and he has started putting a lot of odd things on Facebook recently. He seems convinced that everything about everything is a conspiracy to keep a few people rich. While I do think the world is about the hegemony of a tiny minority, I don’t think I want a big television that shows things in high definition because I have been programmed.  I mean I would say that wouldn’t I? I’ve been programmed. I’ve been programmed so well that I’m aware of the possibility that me thinking I’ve been programmed is bullshit – so I don’t even get concerned about being programmed.

No. I just like bigger pictures of things that I like looking at and I want those bigger pictures to be as clear as possible. I can’t believe I think that of my own free will. Those fucking lizard heads can chalk another mug up.

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