I don’t want to sign a petition against Page 3. It’s not because I’m a big fan of specifically paged mammary display. It’s because it seems an odd way to display my power it a market where it’s all about consumer power.
Instead of signing a petition people should stop buying The Sun. It’s that simple. News International don’t give a flying fuck if people are appalled by Page 3 if they’re buying the tawdry fucking rag. By signing this petition I feel like I’d be saying, “I can take everything else about your paper but the picturing of tits is beyond my pale.” But what I say instead, by not buying the paper is, “most things about this newspaper, its history and its politics repulse me.” Admittedly that sounds the same as, “I’m not buying your excellent newspaper as I don’t find it right-wing enough.” And maybe that is why they try to be a little more right-wing, to tempt me to buy it.
I do think there is purpose in petitions and they do help raise awareness of issues lacking appropriate attention. But I think one of the main effects of a survey like this has is to make people who like looking at tits, which I’d guess is quite a lot of people who regularly purchase The Sun, get all defensive and sentimental about page 3 as though it some charming bastion of a lost England, akin to the Bobby on the beat, being able to leave your door unlocked when you went to war or playing Snake on a Nokia 3310.
I want to be different to the people who buy The Sun, I don’t want them to be more like me. I don’t want them to be able to smarm it up with their titless third pages. Next thing they won’t be portraying people in burkhas as evil because they are wearing burkhas, people as stealing ‘our’ liberty because they are from Eastern Europe, or saying David Cameron is a fucking good egg for closing useless hospitals.
Rupert Murdoch. Rupert fucking Murdoch. There are hundreds and hundreds of reasons I love the BBC, but if had to pick one reason to love the BBC that had nothing to do with how amazing it is it would be that Rupert Murdoch fucking hates it. (And that it occasionally shows artistically merited tits.)