Saturday 12 October 2013

Selfacebooknalysis

I’ve realised my analysis of my social network presence missed the key analysis of my commenting on what other people status. Which is pretty crucial as it meant I missed the opportunity to shout out about a great joke I did. What? You want me to do it here? Well it’s not really…I don’t want to be….go on then.

Some lad used the social network Facebook to do a status that asked if anyone knew a cheap gardener. What he wanted was for someone to look after some flowerbeds and that, cutting the grass, all that shit – but he wasn’t looking to reward the person well financially speaking. I replied to the question saying that there was a gardener who used to drink in my dad’s local pub who never bought a round!!!

You see people who are tight with their money are described as cheap. I just fucked with convention there. Fucked it right up.

Yes, it is a brilliant joke. Thank you. And what’s more there is a modicom of truth about the whole thing. There was a man who drank in my dad’s local pub who did some gardening work for people. Including my family. He was such a good gardener that he didn’t have a lawnmower but my dad bought one so we would have one to let this man use. Of course my dad let him lend it to do other people’s lawns and he immediately broke it and never repaired it. So he was a fucking prick for that and a bit tight for not replacing it. I don’t know if he ever bought a round, though, that bit was artistic licence.

Sharing Good Practice

How’s about we share a little bit of good practice eh? Whooooooo! Yeaaaaah! Good practice!!!

If you find yourself needing to do screen shots for whatever reason (you’re a prick/professionally/part of a bullying campaign against an eskimo etc) you might find that you’re forever doing a print screen and then having to either (a) use a big twatting screenshot as part of whatever you’re doing, or (b) spending time in some image cropping software. And no-one wants (a) do they? Who wants to be having a full screenshot? I don’t need people seeing my taskbar. And as for (b) who wants to be spending time doing things?

Well I found out that there is something on PCs called the Snipping Tool, found in your accessories off the start menu. Then you just highlight something and it creates an image straight away – it blew my mind. Blew my fucking mind. I would have done some better screenshots walking you through it but the one thing the snipping tool doesn’t work on itself. The irony eh? Like Achilles or something. Where the something is the right option.

[the below images were meant to flow with the text, I’ve definitely done it in the past but I don’t seem t be able to do it anymore; it renders the images largely meaningless]

snipping

Untitled

Capture

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