It’s time to tackle my My Tattoo Addiction addiction.

Hopefully my pedantic streak can be the impetus that weans me off this demon that is in my veins. Fair enough the big fat man in week one whose torso and head were covered in styles epidermis drawings seemed to have some sort of addiction. And this week there was a woman who didn’t seem to be able to stop having professional tattoo artists create images gleaned from the Twilight film series.  These people have a tattoo addiction.

But last week there was a woman having some nipples drawn on her reconstructed breasts following a mastectomy that I wouldn’t have accused of having a tattoo addiction – the cosmetic nipples were not part of a sea of tattoos I add. This week’s episode saw a small person having a tattoo to remind her of her dead partner. And in the first week there was a woman with a condition that made her look like a child who was having a small tattoo that her mum and dad also had as a kind of family thing.

What I’m saying is there isn’t just a one-off of someone just having a tattoo – not as part of some addiction – there’s a healthy proportion of people on the show without an addiction. In fact the regular cuts to Magaluf only feature people getting the names of people they’ve just met/cartoon characters/meaningless cliche tattooed on their neck/arse/back aren’t exactly addicts either are they? More accurate (or at least AS proportionately accurate) names might be: People Having A Tattoo As Some Form Closure or Moving On or Drunk People Staining Their Outer Layer.

The people addicted to tattoos in the three weeks of this show have been in the minority, the lying programme naming bastards; what has happened to the world when you can’t even trust a Channel 4 reality-documentary series about tattoos to be accurately named?

Can you get the memories of watching a shit series laser treatmented off your brain?