Sunday 06 October 2013

There’s no need to go into what album I was purchasing today. But it turned out that it was cheaper for me to buy the CD version, including the mp3 versions, than it was to buy just the Mp3 version.

So, I saved £1.29 to own a CD – including delivery. This made me very suspicious. Amazon are no fools. Do fools avoid tax? Do fools register companies in countries with favourable breaks for businesses? No. Therefore the logical conclusion is that there must be an advantage for Amazon. Which means there must be a disadvantage for me owning the CD – and I don’t just mean listening to it!! That joke only works if I’d admitted what the CD was. It was the solo album of the singer from The Fratellis. Are you happy now?

The question for me was whether or not I would pay £1.29 to store a CD for an indefinite period of time that would almost certainly never be removed from the case – if  I do ever listen to the album* it will be the Mp3 version I already downloaded. The most sensible thing to do would be to put the CD straight in the bin when it arrives.

It is clearly worth more than £1.29 to Amazon to store the CD and they are a big company who store lots of stuff. I am a simple man with a simple man’s CD storing facility. The reality of economies of scales is that if it makes sense for Amazon to effectively pay me £1.29 to take the CD then it MUST be costing me more than £1.29 to store the CD. Which means – stay with me – I must be spending a few hundred pounds storing all my CDs. And god knows how much when you factor in my DVDs and Blurays.

There is only one sensible solution: I am going to write to Amazon and offer them £500 to store my CDs for me. I’ll show them who the idiot is, thinking they can take me for a ride. Owning hard copies of things I’ve paid for indeed. Do I have idiot written on my forehead?

*fucking hell I probably will listen to it: I liked both of The Fratellis albums, is that so bad? I preferred the second one that no-one liked more than I liked the first one that everyone liked (for a couple of weeks about 6 years ago, remember that one that went dur-dur-dur dur-dur-dur dur-duh-dur-duh-der-der-der?

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