Before I went away I was struggling to get hold of some of my preferred bodyspray. A woman at one of the Boots (you can only get it at Boots) suggested it was being discontinued. I ended up getting one of the flavours I don’t really like just so I could have some, it was still better than the other options. Bodysprays are not that widely available – it’s a tragedy that doesn’t get enough coverage thanks to newspapers being full of stories about winners of reality TV shows not having a lifetime of riches and having to return to the real world.

Deodorants and antiperspirants are ten-a-penny. But I don’t like that they clog up your sweat glands and do them white stains on your clothes. Learnt some valuable lessons from some ruined underarm areas of garments. And that is no metaphor.

On Saturday I saw some when I was shopping in town. Four left on the shelf. Snapped them up. On Sunday I couldn’t shake the fear of being down to my last four. I also wanted to know if they were still being made. The Boots website still had them. And they were half-price (which as kind of the only bit of evidence the woman who hypothesised the discontinuation of the product was happening). One more factor: you didn’t have to pay to pick them up at a store if you spent over £20.

OF COURSE I BOUGHT 11.  If you think you’ve lived then try walking out of a branch of Boots with 11 bodysprays in a box. The picture below includes the four from Saturday – my partner suggested the small table I have my toiletries on might not be the best place to store 15 bodysprays. (In retrospect this all reminded me of a really dull, unfunny version of the Seinfeld episode where Elaine buys all the sponges.)