Tuesday 24 September 2013

Detective

I come back from the breakfast buffet. My partner looks at my plate and says, “Looks like you put some scrambled egg on your plate and then took it off again.” When she’s right, she’s right: I did put a scoop of scrambled egg on the plate and then remembered that I’d had scrambled egg on the first morning and didn’t really like it. I am annoyed that I have got sloppy with changing my mind about foods at buffets and then removing them – and destroying the evidence.

Why didn’t I just get a new plate and start from scratch? That was the move.

Brum-Brum

There was a middle-aged couple next to us at lunch. The man has a very broad Birminghamcunian accent. Momentarily I am annoyed that they aren’t talking about being considerably richer than me. How’s that for 1990s Harry Enfield character inspired remarks?

The whole thing is a welcome distraction for me. I am trying not to look at the plate where I am sure there is residue from the chips I have removed from my plate after deciding that I didn’t want them anymore. I look at my partner and then back at where the chips were. She looks at me and says nothing. Ha! There is life in the old dog yet.

No Salt – No Swim

My swimming isn’t so good today. There are a lot of theories around but the main one (mine) is that I am very sensitive to densities and even though the difference between salt water and water-water and this difference means I go from being able to swim to not being able to swim because of the salt.

An alternative theory is that it is all in my head and I just start to panic in the non-salt water because I have convinced myself that it makes a difference. There is always some ridiculous conspiracy theory knocking about isn’t there?

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