I notice things and for a short time I think that I’ve made a fantastically insightful observation. It really is a short time, like minutes. And they really are things; not interesting noteworthy happenings, things. More than anything else they are not insightful – nor interesting.
They’re stuck in my head though. Frustratingly lodged in my head. Frustrating because I forget interesting/important things frequently.
People who start relationships at my age don’t seem to be any different from people who start relationships at a much younger age. Recently there have been a couple of people who I interact with mainly on social networks who have started relationships. And they can’t wait to share that they are in a relationship with people on the facebook, the twitters etc. They are constantly tagging their new partner in almost everything they put on Facebook. And they are doing more because they are in a new relationship. I find myself being slightly aggressive to my laptop screen, shouting WE GET IT, YOU’RE GOING OUT WITH SOMEONE. Not literally shouting.
There was someone I was at school with and they’d clearly been through a break up and then started seeing someone else. For a few weeks all this person could do is tag their new partner in a Facebook status. Pictures were posted frequently. Often several very similar pictures of the two having a drink. Sometimes the selfies (I assume you still call them selfies if they are of a duo)became so frequent they almost looked bored with doing them, like they both were tired of trying to think of a different way to look delighted that they were in a pub doing nothing more than having a quite drink.
This isn’t necessarily where I think I have made some big observation. People in the beginning of a new relationship are annoying to the outsider, great stuff Seinfeld.
No, there is no great observation. But because I don’t really know the people involved in a day-to-day sense I’m not really in a position to ask questions when it all goes a bit quiet. All of a sudden it’s not deemed that important/interesting to share with everyone that you’re watching a film together; pictures of the two of you looking a bit embarrassed – but ultimately prepared to have your picture taken every 4 seconds so you don’t seem uninterested – have gone a bit dry on the ground; most worryingly statuses in which one of the couple really has no place but is tagged there anyway (to show the world how truly integrated their lives are), eg “Menfensa Dapplebeck is thinking about tidying the pantry – with Blythe Huppersbank,” when Blyth isn’t involved in the thinking or the tidying (he’s still at two days a week staying over and doesn’t even have to make brews).
At this stage I have to investigate the whole thing. I’m definitely not happy at the thought of the relationship being over. And no thought of me thinks it serves them right for rubbing every moment of new love in everyone’s fucking faces. Not there is real concern on my part for their fledgling love. And it’s generally always OK. When I get to their Facebook wall I see some post from the last 24 hours, some mundane fucking update about how they’re walking to the newsagent, and I’ve just had the fortune to miss it.
A small, none-loathsome part of my brain is a little bit happy that their happiness is ongoing. Just hope they’d share it less (not at all) because it bores the shit out of me.
Next time on Minor Annoyances on Facebook: they’ve not used their account for 2 years but they’re back and pretend like they’ve never been away.