Wednesday 04 September 2013

I fucking hate this advert (the one at the bottom of the page).

I may occasionally give the impression that I lack respect for marketing and advertising professionals. That’s not representative of my entire view of members of each group. I love Don Draper for example. I find many adverts fantastically creative and impressive. Admittedly not the Vodafone adverts with Yoda in, I find them a bit like being told the tea I’ve just drank had piss in it.

There would have been a lot of money involved in coming up with the concept and then creating the advert for the Toyota Yaris. I say that not to sound like I am making an amazing revelation but to remind people that this is the case. Because you could watch the advert and think it was created by some shoes or a cowbell.

I don’t know anything about cars. I don’t have much interest in knowing any more than I do. I don’t really like cars. But I am offended by this advert.

It’s 40 seconds long. The first 10 seconds is a conversation between a parking meter, a bin and a traffic light. That’s a quarter of the advert. An advert that is selling us a car. They aren’t talking about a car. They are bitchily talking about what the bin is wearing – at least I think it’s a bin, it could be something other than a bin. Whatever it is it’s not really wearing something. Anthropomorphism is generally something I like. Giving human characteristics to things that aren’t human can have hilarious consequences. When the human quality is camp bitchiness then I can live without it.

Why is it there? It’s establishing the sarcastic parking meter, sardonic traffic light and camp bin(?) as interested in aesthetics and that they’re bitchy, remember?  Then we see a car.  A water hydrant tells us that it’s a strong look. The parking meter gushes about it. The bin is annoyed that the car is the centre of attention. The voice over tells us how to pay for the car. The advert finishes.

Some bitchy pieces of street furniture are distracted by a car – here’s how you pay for it. Toyota think you are going to buy this car because of this advert. This is how much Toyota respect you. They think you will buy a car to get one over on a talking bin.

What happened to them saying something about a car. All this advert says is that it looks good. The engine could be a bag of ears. The wheels could be drawings. But it looks good and it showed the talking bin what for. People earn millions writing this shit. I hope you choke.

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