Thursday 29 August 2013

And here it is ladies and gentlemen. The longest running soap in the history of this blog has come to an end. There have been highs and there have been lows. But now it is time for the long-running saga of the Chess family to come to an end.

TOWN SQUARE AVENUE – EPISODE 4

EDDIE CHESS is on his knees. QUEENIE CHESS is pointing a gun at EDDIE CHESS’ head. Her finger is beginning the short squeeze that will result in the brains of her grandson, EDDIE CHESS,  being splattered across the linoleum floor he is currently kneeling on.

QUEENIE CHESS
Sorry Eddie – I  ‘av to do this…..

CUT TO – TONY CHESS is walking across Town Square Avenue when he is frozen in his tracks by the SOUND OF A GUN SHOT. He turns and runs back towards the house

TONY CHESS (screaming)
Eddie…no…..no….

CUT TO – EDDIE CHESS is lay in a pool of blood. It looks like QUEENIE CHESS is perhaps cradling his dead body. THE DOOR SLAMS OPEN. TONY CHESS enters.

TONY CHESS
No…..muvva….you evil bitch…you’ve offed my only son…how could ya?

QUEENIE CHESS is dead. We can see now it is EDDIE CHESS holding her lifeless body in his arms – and not the other way around (NB – not sure how this whole thing works with it looking like it was Eddie who was dead but someone can work it out).

EDDIE CHESS
Dad! I don’t know what happened. I thought she was totes gonna murder me but…

TONY CHESS
She couldn’t go through with it…she must ‘ave taken it her own life rather then kill her own grandson. That’s my muvva all over. But wait…the exit wound is at the front of her chest…this is consistent with a gunshot wound from the rear.

EDDIE CHESS
Dad..you’re letting emotions get the better of you. ‘Cos if she didn’t push up her own daisies then how did it…

TONY G’LAMORE steps from the shadows.

TONY G’LAMORE
She didn’t kill ‘erself. She di’nt av the guts.

TONY CHESS
Tony?

TONY G’LAMORE
That’s right Tony. You got nothing to say?

TONY CHESS
Why d’ya do it Tone? Revenge against me for carrying on with Gloria, your wife?

TONY G’LAMORE
(Shouts)What? You’ve been what?

TONY CHESS
Nuffin’ Tone. Forget I said anything. Why did you do it then? Was it because Eddie was carrying on with Gloria?

TONY G’LAMORE
(Shouts)What? You’ve been what?

EDDIE CHESS stands up, covered in blood.

EDDIE CHESS
Wait – you didn’t know that I was carryin on with Glo’ and you didn’t know me old man was carrying on behind your back with your Glo’ then you better have a pretty good reason for shooting my dear grandma dead.

TONY G’LAMORE
I was stopping her killing you Eddie.

EDDIE CHESS
Oh yeah..sorry Tone, me heads in bits. I owe you a pint for that, mate. Dad, get Tony a whisky he’s just done a murder.

EDDIE CHESS Snr
Not so fast, Eddie.

EDDIE CHESS Jnr
Dad?

EDDIE CHESS Snr
That’s right son. Tony was doing me a favour. Couldn’t have me old mam knocking off me son now could I?

EDDIE CHESS Jnr
I’m pretty confused here Dad, seems like the relationship between me and Tony Chess was grandson/grandfather and then we all of a sudden father and son. And was Queenie your wife? Or the wife of Tony Chess?

TONY CHESS
You’re overthinking it, son. I think everythings gonna be rosey from here on in.

FADE TO BLACK

END CREDITS (NO MUSIC)

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