Sigh ber Dine became self-aware
Self-awareness can be such a smug state of being. This is especially if you are a smug twat. I am a smug twat.
I was sat at my desk this afternoon metaphorically shaking my head at a colleague. He was being asked, very reasonably, to do something that everyone else was being asked to do. He got in a sulk about it. Slamming about a bit and grunting about micromanagement. ‘He needs to grow up a bit,’ I thought.
While I was judging someone for getting a bit annoyed over something that wasn’t that important I was writing terse emails (!!) to someone who was suggesting that I held fire on something that I was trying to do to check out if I was allowed to do it. Why should I? Why is XXXXX XXXXXXX telling me what to do? I typed – I would have added the adverb furiously here but if I typed everything I wrote in a physically aggressive style I would go through keyboards like BBC presenters went through children in the 1970s.
It was only after several minutes of internal judgementalism that the self-awareness of the irony kicked in. Then the smugness almost instantly followed. Oh I am so fucking brilliant for noticing that I am also stomping about like a child, albeit semantically. My colleague was denied a reciprocal self-awarness/smugness/irony orgy because he can’t access my vision/emails.
To my credit I carried on being an utter prick on the emails to someone just offering me advice.
This is it, one thousand entries. The above text is kind of representative of the blog as a whole: somewhat pretentious, thinks it’s intelligent and mistakes pettiness as something impressive.
I can’t believe I made it. I really can’t believe I bothered. Sometimes there is literally no-one reading. One day I posted three entries and no-one read it that day. Seriously, though, thank you to whoever has read even one entry; I do kind of think I enjoy doing it. Mostly.
HERE IS SOMETHING AMAZING, SPECIAL AND AN EXCLUSIVE: A THANK YOU TO ALL MY LOYAL READERS…REALLY WITHOUT YOU THIS BLOG IS NOTHING. MORE ACCURATELY IT’S JUST ME TYPING THOUSANDS OF USELESS WORDS FOR NOTHING. SO, IT’S ACTUALLY THAT.
Notes on this video: (1) One take – I’m a fucking pro (2) I was sober; seems like I wasn’t but I was (3) I don’t sound like that, I sound like a camp Northerner (4) Do I look like that? I seem a bit like I’ve had a stroke (5) I don’t even get the name of the blog right (6) The background noise is an episode of Cheers, a latter one after it stopped being very good.