What is it with these websites that ask “tick to stay signed in” but DON’T keep you signed in, they just remember your password?

Yes, that is a terrible observati-o-joke. I was going to say how it might be the kind of thing a really shit observational comedian might say in a few years. Then I realised a couple of things:

• If I am observing it now then it’s already below the level of a really shit observational comedian in terms of comedy.
• If I am observing it now then it’s already behind the pace of ‘the speed of really shit observational comedians observing mundane things about society’.

But there is, isn’t there? There will be someone out there building a really solid bit about signing into secure websites. “And what is it about alphanumeric passwords that makes them so secure? I read a story on the interwebs and they said password123 was the most popular password on the internet etc” [A mediocre comedian* would definitely use the phrase interwebs and lie a bit about password 123 being the most common password for security checks ; it’s not even in the top 20. Password is still the most popular one; 123456 is the second most popular and password1 is the twentieth. Trustno1 is sinisterly at 12th.]

In fact there is someone doing an entire routine made up of being annoyed by password rules and security questions while on the phone to banks (“I’ve NEVER had a pet mate”  – this one sounds Australian in my head). OK, maybe there are 40 people doing entire routines like that.

*earning £800,000 per annum from BBC and Channel 4 panel shows.