Sunday 14 July 2013

Getting on my Gatwick

I’ve got a soft spot for fly-on-the-wall documentaries set in airports. I don’t know if everyone else has a favourite sub-genre of fly-on-the-wall documentaries but I do – and it’s airport ones. I liked the BBC one at Heathrow, Airport (crushingly unafraid to shy away from the least imaginative name ever the show’s main weakness was the presence of Jeremy Spake, who was one of the first wave of people who got a job as a TV presented because someone found them mildly amusing doing their real job in a fly-on-the-wall TV show; he was also a cunt) and the ITV one about Easyjet, Airline (equally imaginative title*).

The two shows relied on people with bit of charisma – I remember a scouse guy on Airline who did the luggage or something. He was salt of the Earth. But I liked him. I’m sure he occasionally fucks up his job because he’s not clever enough – or hungover – every now and again but I bet he’d not do that thing where people take a pint off you and then don’t get you one (or offer) even though they are staying out and drinking (it’s OK if you’re leaving: no-one is asking people to stay out when they want to go home just to return a drink). I also liked the Heathrow photographer in Airport even though I would definitely hate him if I ever met him.

I’m just giving Inside Gatwick a go on Sky. I don’t know if it’s representative of the way the airport industry is going or that Gatwick is populated by anodyne bastards, but Inside Gatwick lacks people who I can relate to. The nearest I have got to empathising with someone is a woman whose entire job is the signs at Gatwick. And I have no empathy with her at all, zero. There is no empathy with her AT ALL. But I still empathise with her more than with others – they are in negative empathy, particularly the big boss who is a terribly shit human being.

I will carry on watching it though in case a chirpy scouser, amiable geordie or introverted Glaswegian transvestite appears on the show.

*for those thinking “well, what would you have called it you fucking prick?” I would have called the Heathrow one Not an Ice-Cream Parlour and the Easyjet one Beware of Greeks Bearing Cheap Air Travel.


The Bcc option on an email was quite an odd feature to be standard and generic from the get go of email. Who else is reading those emails?

Of course it does have the positive feature of being able to hide the addresses when you do a group email. Fortunately the Labour Party didn’t do this when they emailing me and everyone else in the area; if there’s one thing I don’t want it’s a group of people confused about their political identity – which is highly likely if you’re a member of The Labour Party (I think I’m a socialist but I’m a member of a party which doesn’t really represent that ideology – so what am I doing with this? Maybe it’s just me.)

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