I’ve always been bored by discussions of dreams. One reason is that I find the subject boring. Another reason is that a lot of people are boring. So, it would definitely be hypocritical to talk about some dream issues I’ve been having. Fortunately I am not one of those people who says they hate hypocrisy and is then hypocritical – I am fine with both mine and other people’s hypocrisy.
From nowhere I’ve had THREE nightmares in the last month. The last time I had a proper nightmare I was about 14. Occasionally I would have the odd ‘it’s my last day of university and I’ve forgot to do my dissertation’ type dream, that I’m embarrassed for having and being such a cliche; I mean, what next? Doing a speech with no clothes on? (I have never had that dream. I have, however, given a presentation on nightmares while naked at work due to a mix-up – I later went home and slept in a Powerpoint presentation.)
I’m not really go into the details – because it really is boring, very boring – but my issue was that the first two nightmares/negative-energy-dream-cages had…they had a theme of….they were black people doing bad things to me/family because I was white. Hey, I really don’t have that going on. I don’t. Which has made the issue troubling for me. Surely Nick Griffin should be having these dreams and not me.
Happily my last dream-terror featured an exclusively white cast, like a Sunday evening BBC1 drama series about a policeman in a Welsh community. As I jerked awake in the middle of the night terrified I couldn’t help be relieved. Not relief that I wasn’t actually trapped in an old haunted house, but relief that the old woman who attacked me in the dream before dissolving was white. My subconscious was terrorising me with white dissolving old fictitious women. Everything was going to be OK.
I was glad it was all over with. Racist subtexts to nightmares is not something I want. If I had any black friends I shouldn’t want to be hiding things from them because of the guilt that they’d think there must be something knocking about in my noggin. Of course all my friends are white so I won’t have that dilemma.