Though I have been seeing Twitters from people at Glastonbury since February today is actually the start of the (almost) annual arts festival. As ever I will be partaking via the BBC’s excellent coverage. Well I say excellent coverage, the coverage of the music is brilliant – especially now most of it is on iPlayer in band-set sized chunks. Everything around the coverage of bands playing music annoys me.
I couldn’t give a fuck about all the little feature where some twat talks to people around the site. I have no interest in a nine minute feature on the stilts field. Or an interview with someone called something more ridiculous than Blevwyn about how the toilets will be poetry compliant this year.
Just show me the fucking music.
Some parts of me used to think I might enjoy Glastonbury/other festival if I could get over the camping element. I don’t think there is any way I could enjoy it – all of me thinks that now. Sure, I get a bit jealous sometimes when I see a great performance, like tonight’s Arctic Monkeys set, and think how great it would be to be watching that in person. But I can just go to one of their concerts. Although there are a lot of people at concerts there is a lot less than there is at Glastonbury – and as we know the more people there are, the more arseholes there are.
At gigs you tend not to get loads of people with big fuck off flags like you do at Glastonbury as well. I’d definitely love to spend several hundred pounds to get stuck looking at the backs of lots of flags. In between the backs of flags there are the backs of people on the shoulders of other people. In principle I have no issue with someone getting an elevated view of a gig when it’s crowded. But while you’re up there – WATCH THE FUCKING SHOW. People on the shoulders seem more interested in people looking at them/seeing if they get on the big screens. If you’re stopping tens of people behind you having a better view of the show then you have to be doing it to enjoy the band more – if you’re doing it so people will look at you then you’re a prick.
The best people coverage of Glastonbury cuts to are the pissed/drugged bastards dancing right at their back on their own, completely unaware that for five seconds the camera is on them. The worst are the people on the shoulders/anywhere trying to be the centre of attention. I would say these people need to realise that they are always going to lose out to the acts on the stage. But, quite a lot of the bands are mediocre and an attractive 20-year-old bouncing on someone’s shoulders IS more appealing than the 86th heavily bearded indie troupe on the afternoon stage.
I did wish I was there when the Arctic Monkeys were killing it mind.