Friday 21 June 2013

Another unnecessarily pedantic analysis of a note  

We have a subject field: noise. At least people have an overview. The deaf, perhaps, could choose this stage to discontinue their reading. For deaf people reading about noise must be somewhat cruel – a visual means of discussing acoustics. Bitter sweet.

One word paragraph!! “Again….” You could at least pretend not to be annoyed to reel me in. No-one starts a communication “Again…” if they’re happy about something. The dot-dot-dot is reminiscent of annoyance more than anything else.

But wait, we’re opening the first proper paragraph with a please. “Please keep your radio/TV as low as possible when you have your doors & windows open.” Well it’s polite, that’s for darn sure. But it’s a little confusing, no? Who has a Radio/TV? I suppose most people’s digital media receivers have both TV and radio stations so we can let that go.

But, are we keeping the TV/radio low or their volumes? And as low as possible? You can reduce the output to zero..so that is as low as possible. And is it when BOTH windows and doors are open? Are we being asked to reduce the volume of the Radio/TV to zero when EITHER a door or a window is open or just when BOTH are open? If it’s the latter then I am fine – I only have my door open when I travel through it. And that’s when I am entering or leaving my apartment which generally means the Radio/TV is not on.

But if it it’s the EITHER option then I am definitely part of the problem. Because I do not have my Radio/TV on zero when the windows of my home are open. Why doesn’t she just ask for the loudness not to be unsociably high? That would be a more realistic level about which to negotiate.

“It is unfair that I have to close my doors & windows to block out your noise.” I don’t know if I empathise here because of the previous statement about ‘as low as possible’ loudnesses. If she is after complete silence then I am not sure it is unfair. If the noise is too much for her to be able to write notes laden with sexual frustration for the noticeboard in her building then people should be less loud. It doesn’t seem like anything is stopping her writing those notes, though.

“I have already put a polite notice asking everyone very kindly to consider your neighbours but if the level continues I will make a note of when & who I think is responsible & repeat it accordingly.”

Some things about this paragraph: It’s a threat; It’s a polite but ominous threat; the threat is CONFUSING & VAGUE. I can’t comment on the manners of the prequel to this note as I didn’t see it. But this note is polite and I believe the claim. But it gets a bit Eastern Bloc police informant with the threat OF MAKING A NOTE. A note of WHO SHE THINKS is responsible – wouldn’t you want to be sure if you were MAKING A NOTE? And…this is the confusing bit….because she is going to repeat it accordingly. The note?? She’s going to repeat a note of who she thinks is responsible for noise above zero noise? Outrageous.

Susannah (Apt 8) does politely sign off with a thank you. It would be mean to hold it against her.  I for one will try to comply from here on in.

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