Friday 07 June 2013

People are already claiming the forthcoming weekend is the last opportunity of the century to do something. It is, in fact, the weather is just going to be quite pleasant this weekend. The weather is going to be pleasant plenty more times this year. Like the weather is nice plenty every year.

The weather is also not so nice plenty. It’s because of the climate of the country we live in; certainly the north of the country. It’s because we’re between an ocean and a large land mass. Or something. So if you want weather that’s sunny all the time and yet remain in the north of England perhaps it is time to admit that you like being disappointed and whether subconsciously or otherwise you are a controlling influence in your own misery. You could just move to the south of England if you want it to be quite a bit better, so don’t make out like you have to abandon the country you so clearly love (despite the fact that you’re ruining it with your constant self-sabotage).

All the weather is going to do is provide tabloid newspaper editors with content for pages of their newspaper: scantily clad people (women) in various places around the country with headlines such as: Phwoar what a scorcher!/ Great Brit-tan(ing)!/ It’s sunny look at those tits.

It does seem to make lots of people temporarily happy though. So perhaps it is worth it so that people can tell everyone how good it is to be having a banana cider outside Blimpops or a barbecue at Proz & Klirstig’s.

I have no plans this weekend and I am not bitter about it.

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