Tuesday 12 March 2013

What is about people?

The setting is a large group of people sitting in the dark wanting to look at something for an extended period of time. The thing they are looking at will move and make noise. But you need to watch the things move and listen to the noises. The people in the dark need to watch and listen and concentrate. So they can understand the meaning of the moving things and the noise.

There are a selection of moving things and noises. Sometimes the moving things making noises will be on a large screen. Other times they will be in the room, so there is also a greater degree of respect for the moving things and noise.

Just outside these dark spaces people generate income by selling food and drink. The drink is often alcoholic – alcohol makes people inebriated and also need to urinate. The food is never food that people are able to consume silently, in fact they are often packaged in packaging that is noisier than the packaging for food that isn’t consumed in places where people are trying to listen to things in the dark.

I don’t really get why people suddenly feel the need for packets of sweets in cinemas and theatres. Just go and get some fucking food before you go in. Or cope for a while without some snacks. And do you have so little free time that you need to cram in drinking and watching a play? And I mean cram in. I don’t mean having a glass of wine. I mean finishing off getting drunk while watching a play and letting it stop you being quiet when I ask “do you have so little free time that you need to cram in drinking and watching a play” Because if you can’t then its OK, just go and get drunk and don’t ruin things like plays for the rest of us you prick.

You might think that the above is motivated by having been to watch a play and had to put up with someone eating some shit at the side of me and some woman on the front row being drunk and chattering to her friend throughout and then at the end laughing loudly at quite an emotionally charged moment. And you’d be right. Good guesswork.

Neither factor ruined the play for me, I will admit that. Such was the quality of Three Birds at the Royal Exchange that they were only momentary distractions from a highly engrossing piece of work – admittedly the latter distraction, the drunk woman was a momentary distraction at a pretty pivotal moment of the play.

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