Sunday 10 March 2013

I love you mum, people tell Facebook. Their mothers don’t appear to be part of this particular strand of the social media revolution. But regardless of this people still say it to everyone else/no-one.

I suppose it is the kind of think someone might think aloud (to themselves). I can just see the actor Ben Affleck saying it to an empty room when he sees something his mum had left for him, something thoughtful. In this scenario it could be Affleck’s actual mother; it could be Affleck in character – acting the emotions (or lying as some sinister observers of the performing arts might have it) of a character he is portraying (almost certainly in a film – this is fucking Affleck not some TV/Film fuck like Kiefer fucking Sutherland).

But people aren’t saying it to an empty room, they are saying it to everyone they are friends with on Facebook – minus the people who hide their status updates because they do status updates like this. This is where I only have the sinister aspect of my brain to go on and assume it’s some attention seeking act so that everyone will see it and think, “shit, what a fucking hero that person is for saying they love their mother on Mothering Sunday.” Of course not everyone is doing it for that reason, some people are just fucking stupid.

There are some caveats to this behaviour. And there is no easy way of saying this but the exception is dead mums. People are allowed to say whatever they want about mums on any social network about their dead mums. Because their mum died and I think anyone in that boat gets a free pass for being attention seeking/emotional/crazed on Mother’s Day. Or any other day come to that. (The same also goes for dead fathers, dead siblings, dead children, dead aunties, dead uncles, dead grandparents, dead friends…well dead people, dead people you care about*)**

I took the non-social network route of going to see my mum and giving her a card and gift. How 1998.

*I do actually think there is a finite limit to how much patience I would have with someone going on about any of this – but even if I had got to the stage where I was shouting “would you just fuck up about your dead mum for one minute my house is on fire?” I would still understand.

**You can’t use ANY other form of punctuation near the closing bracket bracket sign, ), or it looks like you are trying to communicate some meaning via punctuation. You’d think punctuation was lying around with no use…it has a use. Fuck that’s a good observation I’m not just using it here.

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