A common side product of being a manager of people is that you really fucking hate people who aren’t perfect and do everything you tell them to do. I joke of course. A common side product of being a manager of people is that you get offered management training. This management training involved getting 360 degree feedback. 360 degree feedback involves asking quite a few people what they think of you: people you manage, peers and your manager. We got those results today. Yesterday we got the results of some psychometric testing.
Both lots of results show that both my own view and that of others is that I lack of empathy – and my behaviour exhibits that this is the case. My problem is this: being told that you don’t care what people think when you don’t care what people think AND you know it – what am I supposed to do with this? Sure I now know that other people think that I don’t care about what they think and feel. And you know what? They were right. And I don’t care. Vicious circle this isn’t it?
At least I wasn’t just being paranoid about people knowing I don’t care. Yes, the only thing I really cared about when I sensed that people caught on to me not caring about their existence was that it might be something I imagined.