Monday 25 February 2013

Is the labelling of the conditions a chicken was raised in on a packet of eggs as bad as having some horse meat in a beef burger? [That’s right I am answering my own questions, a question no-one is asking, as a means of provoking content. A sign of creativity if ever there was one.]

In many ways it’s a lot worse. Which seems an odd way of looking at things. “There was quite a lot of horse in my cow burger” seems a lot worse than “the chicken that shit this egg out was  on a cramped bus rather than relaxing on a water bed.”

But the lack of horses in the burgers was not a selling point. OK, it is kind of an assumption that anything other than horse wont contain any horse – but people were weren’t buying Tesco Value burgers on the proviso that there were no horses in there. These Germans, however, are paying top Euro for eggs on the proviso that they are not keeping chickens in cramped inhuman conditions…they really did learn didn’t they? Or rather they didn’t because the chickens were clearly not living quite the life that was being suggested. I’m not going to really carry on this line of equating this news story with the concentration camps as, to be honest, I’m fairly uncomfortable with it. And I don’t really have lower limit to my bad taste levels.

I just hope the real reason behind this concern for the welfare of chickens isn’t so that they can bum the chickens and well-kept chickens are better to bum. That’s right I am referencing a story from several months ago. If I was any more topical I’d be sick.

[For people who did follow that story – the vote was successful in criminalizing sex with animals. I just looked it up now, I haven’t been following it. And anyone who says I have been following the story and was planning to move to Germany and set up a lovenest with a dalmation is a liar. Seriously, click on that link, it’s insane. The guy from the pro-animal sex group seems genuinely shocked that people are shocked by him having sex with a Great Dane: “They just see a man and think, ‘What terrible things is he doing to that dog?’ ”]

<<Insert something about Ranulph Fiennes being a typical old person complainging about the cold in the winter.>>

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