Ideas for some new sitcoms

My Mum is a Witch (CBBC) Dawn French stars as Wendy Crackle,  the  overly protective mother of a 13-year-old girl who is like all the other mums with one major difference…she’s a witch. Wendy only ever uses her magic for good. Show will be dubbed a must for kids and adults alike thanks to clever use of metaphor, double entendres and new swear slang ‘frib off’.

Bawdy Northern Idiots (ITV) Northern idiots Bill, Kev and Dave are mad for one thing and one thing only: being mad for it. This comedy-drama from ITV sees the lads do what lads do: so if you don’t like having some pints(Wa-haaaaaaaaaaay), having some more pints (wah-aaaaaaaaaaaaay), talking footy (wa-haaaaaaaaaay), having some pints (wa-haaaaaaaaaay) and getting it in the ear from their wives (booooooooooooooo women) then you won’t like the antics of Bill, Kev and Dave every Friday at 9pm on ITV (11.40 on Wednesdays after two weeks until end of first/only season).

Bringing Home The Bacon (BBC2) Semi-improvised vehicle for Stephen Mangan as celebrity driver Chad Apatu who drives around the celebrity Richard Bacon (Bacon as himself) who talk about things in the news as well as the (sometimes emotional) events in their own lives. Occasional cameos from celebrities (Samantha Morton, Daniel Day-Lewis and Jedward) as themselves will see this dubbed ‘The British Larry David of the tweens’.

Fo’ Call Centre (BBC3) Will Mellor stars as Will Melon – a 30-year-old stuck in a call centre job. Will gets through the days having a laugh with his friend Sandbox (OB from Hollyoaks) and flirting with his manager Kiki (Angela Griffiths). Features occasional cameos from Ross Kemp as the head of the company. NB: needs several catchphrases, could include: “Is your mum at home…sorry sir..”

Fish Out of Water (Sky One) Bill Bailey stars as BBC weatherman Michael Fish who loses a bet and has to go through secondary school again as a consequence. Patsy Kensit appears as Headmistress Fanny Biff. Theme tune: Bill Bailey penned ‘Fish Out of Water’ to the tune of Deep Purple’s Smoke on The Water.

Peter Kay’s Max and Paddy’s Garlic Bread Nights (C4). Peter Kay returns as his most beloved character Max the doorman who is now running a garlic bread shop with his best mate Paddy (Paddy McGuinness). Kay also stars as several other disappointing new characters including Rex Factor (very bad singer convinced can win X Factor!!) and Fay Book (obsessed with reading out social network activity!!!).