Sunday 10 February 2013

Has someone done the jokes about French people being horrified at finding traces of beef in their horse burgers? No? Why? Ahhh.. not funny. Gotcha.

I think the continuation of this horse meat story is splendid. I think it is safe to say that given my dietary habits over the past 15 years I have almost certainly eaten some horse. I did once see a woman eat a bit of a horse – but she knew what she was doing. It was on one of my dad’s videos he used to hide behind his books on the top shelf.  Actually she probably didn’t know what she was doing, I understand lots of porn actresses use drugs and you have to suspect the ones involved in bestiality porn are statistically more likely to be on ‘medication’. Maybe she just liked horse cock. I don’t know.

My name means lover of horses – while I am on this train of thought. The irony? I never really liked horses growing up. Certainly not in THAT way. And while I have come to appreciate the beauty of the animal and betted a lot of money on them running about with small Irish men on their backs, I still have never had the urge to eat one – or fuck it. Or suck its dick.

Are we clear where I am with regards horses? OK then.

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