Thursday 07 February 2013

How much is a reasonable amount to pay a company to hire Luke Perry for the week?

Yes, the former star of Beverley Hills 90210 and the film of Buffy The Vampire Slayer. If there was a service where you could hire him for the week how much would be a reasonable price?

I don’t plan on starting a business hiring out Luke Perry – and wondering what to charge. I was just wondering how it would all work out – if I’d hired Luke Perry for the week.

– how much would it cost?
– would it be weird?
– what would I do with him when I was playing football?

If I said I’d hired Luke Perry to spend the week with me and it had cost £500 you’d probably think I was mental. But you certainly would probably have to concede that I’d not been ripped off. Less than £100 a day for a human being. In fact it is too low a fee to be realistic.

And let’s be very clear about this while we’re discussing the vulgarity of money: there is no fruity business involved. This would strictly be about Luke Perry staying with me as a friend for a week. Instead of sat watching telly on my own on Monday and Wednesday, I’d be watching telly with Luke Perry. “Hey everyone, can I just have a quick word? If you’re wondering who this chap is, it’s the actor Luke Perry. He’s going to be hanging around my desk this week because I’ve hired him for a week. You can’t talk to him,” I would say to my colleagues.

Imagine being at the supermarket with Luke Perry.

“Would you like a hand with your packing?”
“No, it’s fine Luke Perry is going to help me. He’s doing the bread and softer things. I am going to do the tins.”

The mind boggles.

If I’d paid £5000 you’d definitely think I was wasting money; you would certainly assume I was wasting money I could spend better elsewhere or think I had more money than sense (I certainly have more money than sense).

Is £900 realistic? Still probably too low for a human. Let alone the hear-throb star of BH90210. I really can’t figure out what is realistic. I think it is the kind of thing faded stars should consider, though.

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