Wednesday 30 January 2013

There was a day last week when I had a higher bank balance than Zimbabwe. Admittedly Zimbabwe probably had more money tied up in land and bombs and presidential gold – but did they have more tied up in scarcely used Fred Perry bags?

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And I didn’t have $30 million put in (any of) my bank account(s) either. I think it’s safe to say that the balances of my personal bank account and the public account of Zimbabwe being in the same ballpark is not a common occurrence. But who knows?

Zimbabwe is just probably happy that the money they spent on a new iPod Touch didn’t come out of its account until after the $30 million was put in its account.

“I’m sorry Zimbabwe, your card has been declined.”
“Can you double-check? I’m due some revenue.”
“Oh yes, sorry – you have thirty million and two-hundred-and-seventeen dollars in your account. I’ll process that payment now. Yes, that’s gone through, now. Enjoy your iPod Touch.”
“Actually it’s not for me – it’s Kenya’s birthday next week and it’s a gift.”
Etc.

The best thing about going on The Daily Mail website because you’re THAT bored is that you often see something so horrendous that you don’t go on it again for another week.

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