Tuesday 01 January 2013

It’s 2013

Everybody! Stop classing the year as 2012. As of midnight last night it is officially 2013. So when you’re writing the date on a letter/cheque/logbook be sure to remember this. Going to try and be a bit more helpful from now on with handy tips like this when appropriate. It is not a

Resolution

Though – because I don’t make them. If I wanted to change something about myself I would just (try and) change it as soon as I realised it needed changing. And not wait for some arbitrary point on my timeline. Yes, I described my life in terms of the lexicon of the social network Facebook. Wanna make something of it?

In 2013 I should try and see a game of football in 3D. And I mean the television sense, not the actual three dimensions of real life. I have seen real football in the reality of three dimensions plenty of times; I find the experience slightly unrealistic and jarring. It also makes me feel a bit sick. I am hoping the 3D television version of football will iron out those weaknesses of reality.

Actually, fuck it, this is my new year’s resolution. I am having a new year’s resolution and it’s to watch a game of football in 3D. I suspect it might be as likely to succeed as all those people claiming they are definitely going to lose three stones in weight as their resolution. But mine wont be failing because I am a fat, lazy cunt like theirs. No, actually it will. The main reason will be that I can’t be arsed; coupled with being a fat cunt means that overall I won’t be achieving my resolution because I am a fat, lazy cunt.

Life

I bet everyone has been gutted that I have been doing my review of the year type blogs. And not just because they were shit and boring. You have been missing out on the life commentary my blog offers of course…well I sat around a lot, in between bouts of sleep. Fingers crossed I will pick up an illness when I return to work and be bed-bound for a few days.

Actually, one thing I didn’t get to include was the excellent discussion I had on NYE (short for New Year’s Eve) about how the contestants in the World’s Strongest Man competition earn their money. I wondered if the Scandinavian governments gave out the equivalent of lottery funding – or lottery funding – to the big fat men. A friend suggested that maybe there were private sponsors. We then wondered if they just earned their money by carrying very large items not very far for people who were not in that much of a rush for their large items to be moved ten metres or so. Or indeed a much longer distance in even less of a rush.

One thing is for sure those big fat lads aren’t cheap to run. I bet they are all on like 15 eggs for breakfast and three chickens for lunch and a cow for tea. Hats off, though, they can pull a bus, very slowly, over a short distance so it is all worth it.

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