Saturday 24 November 2012

Gran A Ma?

After wasting an evening NOT solving day of the week anagram challenges I set about the task this morning. Look I did Post-It notes and everything. I did proper anagram -solving techniques and everything. Putting the letters of the word in alphabetical order and then removing popular prefixes and suffixes. I hadn’t got it, though. And though it is really frustrating not to be able to solve something like this I was enjoying the frustration and lack of achievement, it was like a synecdoche for my life really.

Why was I bothering with Sunday? It clearly was never going to be Sunday, UNDAYS? You know, all the days that are not days are undays.

And then my friend, the one who had set me the ruzzle/rizzle/puddle/piddle, made it really obvious what the answer was by using a variation of the answer in a text. Apparently he had done it several times last night. This was his defence when I said he was a shit for ruining it for me. His defence was that he had been being a shit for ages already. And he thought that was a reasonable defence. I don’t think society would have reacted too well if Dr Shipman’s reaction to being caught was that he had been poisoning old women for years and no-one had bothered. In fact I think society would have said, “That’s completely the wrong attitude Harold – you should show remorse not blame us for not picking up on your serial murdering.”

Apart from anything else I’m hardly good at picking up on subtle linguistic clues when I am replying to text messages sat on a balcony drinking cans of Kronenbourg. I did have to admit that it wasn’t that subtle when I looked back at the messages, though. He had just kept putting variations of the word in sentences. I couldn’t make out what was more annoying, me not picking up on the shitness of his clues last night, the way he made it really obvious today or the fact that I hadn’t picked up on it sooner when I think I am some kind of linguistic Sherlock Holmes. I am almost certain it is the latter – being that I have access to my own thoughts and feelings.

[You may notice that the above picture has had some subtle editing done on it. That’s because rather than just take my new bank card out of my wallet when I have to pay for stuff I have just written all the details on my laptop in marker. Which is a really sensible move really. No-one is likely to steal my laptop if they break in my flat. It’s a Sony one and it’s about 4/5 years old. In many ways it’s the most efficient thing I have ever done. It does end up costing me money though as I sometimes used to not buy stuff off the internet when I couldn’t find my wallet. ]


It would be inaccurate to say I have no idea what this Gangnam thing is. I am vaguely aware that it is a song/dance thing and I think it involves an asian chap. But apparently it is now the most watched internet video, overtaking Justin Bieber. It is a terrible Catch-22 that I find myself in. I don’t want to watch it because I will almost certainly hate it. And because I will almost certainly hate it I don’t want to contribute to its record. If anything I am thinking about spending my weekend watching whatever Justin Bieber video is now only the second most popular video ever on the internet.

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