The second (fifth) day of the course went a lot better than the first (fourth). Part of me thought that this was because the course had worked to some degree and that everyone was happy with how it had gone. Another part of me was thinking everyone was just being positive because it was nearly all over: we were on the finishing straight. Some other parts of me were just doing stuff like wondering how long it would take me to get used to the sloshing noise every time I moved if I had a water bed or if the Queen has ever had a packet of crisps¹.
I was probably a bit harsh on ‘Archie’ after the second block last month. It was for the purpose of creating humour. I’ll do that. The real life Archie was clearly doing some of his behaviour to make people react and stuff. That by its very nature created an unrealistic caricature of a person that I then exaggerated. I thought it was bloody funny, the blog, but I tend to be a big fan of my blog. I would say I am the only person who really gets it. My point is that sometimes you exaggerate and use caricatures to make a point – and combined with flippancy, which I also use liberally, it can create quite the disrespectful portrayal of real people. If truth be told I think I got something out of this course and – though it was more to do with the female counterpart of Archie – therefore I should redress the balance. And while that suggests it is something I will go on to do after that sentence it’s actually something I have done with this paragraph. Whatevballs.
¹No part of my concious mind was wondering about either of these today if we are strictly being ‘honest’. This is just a vehicle for me to make a couple of silly things someone might think about – or talk about if they were interested in the kind of things that interest me (in real life people often find these conversations troubling so I crush them away and talk about things like inclemency of atmospheric conditions or current affairs).
My discomfort with taking off in an aeroplane means I often have a deep understanding with in-flight magazines – thanks to the concentration I put into reading them to avoid thinking about the speed I am being travelling at in a big metal tube in order to create the necessary forces to make the big metal tube go miles into the sky. Happily I had a copy of I with me so I was able to pretend I wasn’t freaking out about flying and absorb some news.
The best story was undoubtedly about a Physics Professor who smuggled drugs because he thought a world-famous model wanted a piece of his love. Via an on-line dating website he thought he was speaking with a model who was interested in a 68-year-old Physics expert from England. Look at her. How can a man have so much academic achievement but have no common sense whatsoever? She clearly wouldn’t be using an on-line dating service. But then, even if you suspend disbelief for that bit of it, you have to question his willing to smuggle drugs for someone he has not so much as had a Skype with. It is described, by the victim admittedly, as a sophisticated sting. However, the perpetrators basically just set up a fake account on a dating website using easily available pictures. That really isn’t sophisticated. If they had done Skypes with a lookalike for example, that would be more something I could see as sophisticated. Or phonecalls. He had no idea what she sounded like. But no, it was just emails and text messages.
How does someone have no-one to discuss this with. OK, say he has no friends because he some kind of oddball. Surely someone odd enough not to have friends is odd enough to talk through a proposal to smuggle drugs for someone he hasn’t met with someone serving him at the supermarket or something. Actually maybe that’s something he did do and some 15-year-old didn’t really know what was going on and agreed that he should go ahead with it.
(Also someone you have only only sent text messages or emails to is not your girlfriend. I hope the judge made a point of that when he passed the sentence.)
Other stuff in the paper included learning that The Wedding Present had twelve top-30 singles in 1990. That equalled a feat achieved by Elvis. That’s The Wedding Present. Yeah, I don’t really know who they are either – I think there is one song by them I know, Kennedy. But they did something almost no other band will have ever done. Or are likely to do.
[Picture 1] Because I have no ability to tell soft things from firm things I was indebted to the hotel I stayed at in Guildford for labelling the pillows as soft or firm respectively. However the debilitating condition means that they both feel the same to me and thus it is a level of service that I cannot benefit from. [Picture 2] makes me proud to get off a plane in Manchester and see this. Yeah, he might not be from Manchester but (a) he probably is, and (b) it’s now where you’re from it’s where you’re at.