Thursday 01 November 2012

I was walking to the bus stop this morning and noticed a pound coin on the ground. 98% sure it was a pound coin. How can you not be 100% certain? Surely by picking it up and then plotting all morning what sweets you would spend it on – and then spending it, you know it was a pound coin?

See, I didn’t pick it up. That’s how I am not completely sure. I am completely sure though. I know what a pound coin looks like. It’s not like being stood up makes me that far away from the ground. But it was a bit moist and had bit of leaf around it. So I couldn’t be arsed bending down and picking it up. THAT is what I am these days. Better than a pound coin? Am I really? Would I have ignored a £2 coin? (maybe) A £5 note? (no). Just where is the cut-off point for my new found sense of self-importance?

Well it’s clearly £2 isn’t it – or £1 if we are working in certainties. And I would have picked the pound up had the weather been more pleasant. I wouldn’t mind pinpointing the moment in my life where I became that person. How much money would I have to find now to be as happy as the time where I found three pounds in a garden? Probably at least £1o. But even then it would represent something I would have a bet with. How much to actually be something I would happy and do something different with. I think I am talking the biggy: yes, about £13.99.

I used to dream about finding money all the time when I was younger. I have just looked up what it means. And you will never believe what different websites say about the different meanings of dreaming about finding money: apparently they mean fucking everything. Much like horoscopes there is a literal meaning that can be applied or a figurative one when it comes to dream analysis. Fair dos to some people, they make it so they can’t possibly be wrong: dream analysts, horoscope writers, members of the cabinet….woaaah, woaaah….yeah, I dropped some political commentary in there.

The websites seemed to suggest it was about self-worth. Some suggested it was about the start of something new. Others said it was about a boost in energy. I just thought it was about how I used to want to find a fuck off wad of cash so I could buy lots of things I didn’t need and certainly didn’t deserve. Guess that’s why I’ll never be the world’s best dream analyst like Ian Wallace.

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