I used my extra hour today to play football. I don’t think I have played football on a Sunday morning/lunch for quite a many years. I mean I was probably fully pubic but, still, it was a while ago¹. It would be trite to mention that I obtained a round of applause from BOTH sides after a bit of skill I did (followed by a great finish to score). Yes it was only 5-a-side (actually they had six – and one of ours was a fat lad who didn’t run AND was rubbish²) and, yes, you could argue that a game where players are applauding a member of the other team for scoring can’t be that competitive. You could – and I would pause, look you straight in the eye and say fuck off.
This isn’t about how brilliant I am at football. It’s about my bus journey home. Yes, you’re right to look excited.
These two girls got on the bus. The bus was quite sparsely seated. But the first one on stood at the front near the staircase and after the other girl had paid said, “I can’t be bothered sitting down for one stop.” And indeed they didn’t. The bus went past one stop and they got off at the next. Maybe 800 metres down the road. It was not raining. I couldn’t work out which was more lazy; not sitting down or the fact that they were on a bus for a short space of time.
They were stood right next to free seats. Sitting down really only required a bend of the legs. Of course the effort of standing back up was probably what put them off. On the other hand: they had paid a fare rather than walk a short distance. If they had bus passes it was slightly more explicable. It is not often you can just point at the bus stop you are getting off at – or it shouldn’t be.
Definitely one of life’s mysteries.
¹I have been fully pubic since I was about 28.
²Insert your “we know you were playing already, Phil, you’ve said” type joke here.
Pictorial evidence that I am often the height of style and good looks just after I have played football: