Mo Away Mo-va Fuckber
Like a small child who want something (the small child in this simile is/was me) Movember continued to tug at my leg asking me if I could just grow a moustache. “No you little metaphor fuck – I have a beard. So while Movember is meant to be a canny tale of brotherhood with everyone knowingly smiling at each other like divs as they grow a moustache I’d either: just shave of my beard hair and just have a moustache for a month (or ‘going Tameside’ as I would call it); or shaving my entire beard off to start from scratch (yeah I get that) with everyone else.” The metaphorical small child/me/Movember has, by now, wandered off as it wasn’t really that interested in me being a part of its game, it was just being polite.
Stupid metaphorical mithering children aside I was sent a Movember email today. It was sent to lots of people across the three sites our organisation has. Happily some people on the list were the kind of person who clicks on reply to all to say something inane. So after ignoring the main email I had to ignore a sludge more of emails from people I don’t even know saying thank you to the original sender – but feeling the need to let everyone else on the list know they were doing this. Either that or they don’t understand the basic principle of using Microsoft Outlook, which I wouldn’t entirely rule out.
Even more brilliantly some people were adding smileys, emoticons and multiple exclamation marks to none exclamatory sentences. I know all of these things are slowly becoming endemic within electronic interconversing and I also know that this was hardly some email about something worky. But still sending an email to about 40 people you don’t know saying something like “Great!!!!!! I’ve emailed for the application form!!!! No turning back now!!!!J“. That’s not even an exaggeration. It’s a quote. I think what annoyed me as much as the exclamationgasm and the smiley was the ‘not turning back now’. Well, yes there is. By not doing it you could turn back. Emailing someone for an application form is not legally binding*.
*Hands up: I have no idea if this is legally binding, I just really don’t think it is. But if the people behind Movember are evil enough to make sending an email a legally binding contract then I for one salute their contribution to ending male health problems. Editor’s Note: Movember has never stated an intention to end male health problems – only to raise funds and awareness. Editor’s Editor Note: Surely that ultimately means they will ultimately, if successful, end male health problems? Editor’s Response: Yeah.