Monday 15 October 2012

Private Keep Out

I had a brief conversation (on Twitter – don’t do real life anymore, not convincing enough) about this article (non-link-clickers: it’s about a woman who is a homosexual and had all her privacy settings turned on in the Facebook settings; her sexuality was something she didn’t feel she could share with him as he was a fucking bigot. But he was able to see something about her being gay because they had a mutual friend in a group or something) the other night with some journalist. He, rightly, posited that the relationship between Facebook and people’s privacy is flaky at times. In fact it is downright disrespectful at times. If Facebook and people’s privacy were on Jeremy Kyle¹ then Kyle would (smugly and odiously) sneer at Facebook telling it that it had no respect for people’s privacy and needed to stop running about doing whatever it wanted and show some respect (he wouldn’t mind about using the no respect/some respect combo – he’s making a point, not a fucking sonnet) to people’s privacy.

And Kyle would have a point. Facebook does need to show people some respect. Is your but-alarm beeping? Because….

But…people don’t have to use Facebook do they? The Twitter journo guy correctly addressed that as it’s a behemoth, Facebook tends to be central to being included in things and that to opt out might mean someone is ostracising themselves socially/professionally. Well…yeah…but that’s kind of like how <<insert something that is like saying ‘this is how the nazis came to power’ but NOT a tired and lazy extreme reference to an extreme in order to make a point>>.

My point was that the real thing that was wrong here was the fact that the woman’s dad was a fucking small-minded, homophobic shit. Yes, it’s balderdash that the Facebook privacy settings are privy to being side-stepped by quirks, but this is not a secret (unironically). Facebook is a bit like life really, sometimes secrets will fall out where they are not wanted. It’s the hatred/bigotry that is wrong – not that the social network is innocent.

¹I’m sorry for going here. I really hate Kyle and his show but it’s an easy shorthand for the whole judgemental chat show format – and when you’re trying to pitch the concept of a massive online social network having a physical relationship with the concept of privacy, well it’s best not to linger too long on this part of the metaphor.

THAT Meryl

I found this going through a box of tat in the spare room. It does show the importance of punctuation. I read it repeatedly as “THAT Philip Bridgehouse” like the League of Gentlemen Charity Shop women said “that Meryl.

It should, of course, read: After the break Jamie Shaw netted and, after that, Philip Bridgehouse scored with a great 40-yard shot.

In fact, it should probably read: After the break Jamie Shaw netted. Subsequently Philip Bridgehouse redefined great when he scored with a 40-yard shot that will echo through the ages.

NB. I did NOT put this in just to show that I was scoring great (not my word) goals, scoring from 40-yards as an 11-year-old. What kind of sad, pathetic loser would brag about the accomplishments of his 11-year-old self? It would only serve to highlight the lack of accomplishment thereafter. I would wager that the writer of this article had as much skill in judging distance as he/she did at punctuation and writing. FORTY yards? For those of you who aren’t so great at judging distances, here is a way of picturing 40 yards: imagine 80 yards, now halve that distance and you have forty yards.

That not help? Well when you see someone score from a little bit outside the area in proper football and people describe it as long range – this would have been twice that distance away. I have always had quite a good shot but I don’t think it was 40 yards out.

You can’t really make it out on the picture below but there is a mention of someone scoring after a run. Yes, a 40-yard run. I think it is safe to say the man/gerbil with a pencil in its mouth/woman that wrote this didn’t really know what 40 yards meant. And I don’t mean they didn’t have a comprehension of how far 40 yards is, I mean I think they probably just thought 40 yards was a phrase that meant ‘any distance’. They also could do with knowing words other than before and after to differentiate between things all happening at once. I don’t think I am asking for too much – this was in a newspaper. A local newspaper, yes.

It was a great goal, though. 50 yards out or more. (I have no recollection of it whatsoever.)

THAT Philip Bridgehouse

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