Tuesday 09 October 2012

I woke up to Talksport telling me that the Chairman of The FA thought everyone should buy Ashley Cole some flowers and give him a hug.

Why was David Bernstein, the aforementioned Chairman, so overflowing with love for the Chelsea & England footballer? Ashley had MEANT it when he said sorry to Bernstein – Bernstein was sure of it. Ashley should not, therefore, be punished. What for? He called The FA a bunch of cunts on Twitter. That’s The FA who govern English football – so the England team he plays for are the representative team of this The FA and he plies his trade in the English Premier League whose ruling body is The FA. The FA should be respected by him – or at least he should defer to them as role model publically. And he called them a bunch of twats.

They did call him a liar. So it’s fair that he calls them a bunch if twats, right? Yes, The Football Association released a press statement saying “we think Ashley Cole is a liar and he treated Cheryl badly and that he wees sat down so no-one sees his widgy and he’s scared of forks – he’s just generally a knob, signed The FA.”

Well not quite. They cast doubt on his evidence in the recent FA hearing to determine whether or not John Terry is a racist bastard was guilty of using racially offensive language against Anton Ferdinand earlier in the year.

Obviously I read the report. After reading the report in the Suarez-Evra hearing I can’t get enough of dense, legalistic FA reports investigating charges of racism against someone I don’t like. (I did mean to be sarcastic there but I HAVE read both the reports so I obviously CAN’T get enough of them – or at least if I can it’s two full reports. Or I have had more than enough. Actually that last option sounds most likely.)

I really did read it. It’s got a lot of swearing in it. More than Goodfellas, all Kevin Smith films and all my blogs combined. Some quotes:

If that word had not been present, and he had said to Mr. Ferdinand “fuck off, fuck off, fucking cunt, fucking knobhead”, then Mr. Terry would not have been charged with ‘simple’ Misconduct.


All of this causes the Commission to have very real concerns about the accuracy of Mr. Barnard‟s recollections, and the motivation for the assertions that he makes in his witness statement about what Mr. Cole said during the FA interview of him, particularly his alleged use of the word “black”, but also the words “fucking” and “cunt”. These concerns raise significant doubts in our minds about the case that Mr Barnard‟s statement advances, namely that of Mr. Cole saying in interview that he heard Mr. Ferdinand use the words “fucking cunt”, coupled with a word beginning with a “B”, that could have been “black”, accompanying his pumping fist gesture.

And this followed a legal proceedings. A lot rests on the possible gap between “fucking” and “cunt” you see. Anyway, read it yourself. Basically it says that it had evidence the criminal trial didn’t consider and that that the committee could make suppositions a criminal court cannot (though not huge ones). And that they were pretty certain that John Terry called someone a f***ing b***k cunt just because he was calling them one and not as part of a question or anything else. They also said that Ashley Cole changed his statement after he initially made it to fit in with Terry’s story and that this amounted to pretty solid evidence they and a Chelsea legal eagles had made some lies in order to try and ensure Terry’s innocence. So they said Ashley Cole was a liar – a liar for the cause of racism¹.

Let’s recap: The FA had like a proper legal-type hearing and part of their findings – reported findings – were that Ashley Cole was part of a conspiracy to lie about someone racially slurring someone. Cole heard about this and called the people who made the report a bunch of twats. The people who made the report govern his sport and are like the owners of the England team he plays for. Everyone was like – woah, he called like the Police of football twats. He said sorry. The FA’s chief said he really believed Ashley meant saying sorry for the ‘bunch of twats’ thing – and that’s what’s important and now everyone should leave Ashley alone and let sleeping dogs lie.

You can understand why some people suggest that the issue of racism in football is not treated that seriously.

And another thing – why is Terry being racist and not admitting it half-as-bad as Suarez doing it?

You know what the ruling body of football are good for in England? Sweet F.A. (Yeah, I went there.)

¹They were at pains to point out that the trial was NOT to determine whether or not John Terry was a racist. There becomes a point when you don’t have to be in the BNP to be a racist. This is kind of another thing entirely – and not what I was trying to get into with this blog – but do you have to believe in an aryan master race to be a racist? He was annoyed at someone and called them a f-ing black c. Sure everyone makes mistakes. But he’s lied about it rather than be contrite. And he does look like he might be a racist – and this is coming from me, someone who doesn’t like him and is predisposed to thinking really negative things about him.

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